Why do we feel like we can run our own lives so much better than the One who created them? How foolish do we have to be before we come running back? I get this image of God sometimes of Him just shaking His head at us. "Really? Really? You honestly think that's the way you should live? You think that's going to make you happy? Ok...if that's what you want...."
BUT, the best feeling in the world is realizing how stupid I have been and knowing that God's patience and love never expire. It's so amazing to cry out, "I need you!" and have Him answer, "I'm here."
And it just so happens that the next chapter in la biblia for me to read today was Psalm 73:
"Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold....I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
The ones who make me smile
I am utterly sorry for those people who really don't have quality relationships in their life. I honestly cannot fathom how they make it from day to day. I realized recently (not the first time, might I add) that God put the most amazing people in my life. I know people like to brag about how sweet their spouses are or how supportive their family is or how fun their friends are, but when I step back from the situation, I feel so strongly that those in my life are some of the greatest.
My husband consistently shows me patience and love, especially when I am being ridiculous. Being married has opened my eyes to how impatient and selfish I can really be. It has also opened my eyes to how amazing my husband really is. Sigh....I have some work to do.
My family has been nothing but extraordinary. Yes, we have our issues. Yes, we argue and get on each other's nerves. But golley! No one protects me, supports me, encourages me, convicts me and loves me like my family has. Again, I am truly sorry for those who do not have that.
My friends are invaluable to me. I know we will not always live close to each other, but that is perfectly ok with me. They are the type of people who will not let you go once they've got you. Distance means nothing. I cannot count the times I've called one of them crying and they would drop what they were doing to come over. Who does that?? Apparently people who love each other. Why am I so blessed?
That's really all there is to it. I have incredible people in my life who go to great lengths to love me. I know its not always an easy task, but they do it anyway. So Josh, Mom, Alli, Jess, Michael, Stephanie, Anne, Sarah S, Rae, Rochelle, SKK, if you ever read this, thank you. You have no idea how much I treasure you.
My husband consistently shows me patience and love, especially when I am being ridiculous. Being married has opened my eyes to how impatient and selfish I can really be. It has also opened my eyes to how amazing my husband really is. Sigh....I have some work to do.
My family has been nothing but extraordinary. Yes, we have our issues. Yes, we argue and get on each other's nerves. But golley! No one protects me, supports me, encourages me, convicts me and loves me like my family has. Again, I am truly sorry for those who do not have that.
My friends are invaluable to me. I know we will not always live close to each other, but that is perfectly ok with me. They are the type of people who will not let you go once they've got you. Distance means nothing. I cannot count the times I've called one of them crying and they would drop what they were doing to come over. Who does that?? Apparently people who love each other. Why am I so blessed?
That's really all there is to it. I have incredible people in my life who go to great lengths to love me. I know its not always an easy task, but they do it anyway. So Josh, Mom, Alli, Jess, Michael, Stephanie, Anne, Sarah S, Rae, Rochelle, SKK, if you ever read this, thank you. You have no idea how much I treasure you.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
He loves me...
I have discovered one of the most wonderful things about my dear husband. It is something I have always known, just never taken the time to understand. I'm foolish for not noticing this sooner: He loves deeply.
Let me back up and explain. I am currently using his computer while he uses mine in another room. I'm not sure why, it just happened that way. I started scrolling through the pictures on his computer. He has some on here from 2003! I found an album titled "Mom." It contains pictures of her from her time with them as children until her last days in this world. Most of them are pictures of just her. Some are with her husband or daughter. Then there are some with her son. As I flipped, I started crying. He loved her so much. I know sons love their moms, but he loved her. There's a particular picture that grabbed me. It's nothing really special. She's laughing and Josh is in the background laughing as well, but he's looking straight at her. To me, it just seems like they had fun together. Like she was such an understanding and sweet spirit. She wasn't worried about digging too deep into her children's lives. She adored them and they adored her.
I kept flipping (and crying). The more I saw into the life of my husband, the more I understood what he felt for his family. I've known that he is a loyal friend. He would do anything for those he loves, but I never realized how deeply he allowed himself to love people. When he cares, he will care full-force and forever. I see it in the pictures with his sister and his dad, too. He loves to love.
The best part about all this is that I'm part of it too. He loves me. Not only that, but he loves me more than he loved his mom, more than he loves his dad, and more than he loves his sister. He loves me so much that he committed himself to me for the rest of our lives. This small, but huge, realization knocks me off my feet. My husband loves to love me.
And while I am on this train of thought, I need to add another aspect. My husband loves me more than I can understand and I love him more than he can understand. If that's true, I can't even begin to think about what Jesus feels for us. To have Him be the Creator of massive stars and planets and know details about the molecules of other galaxies, to grow trees in the remotest parts of the forest and keep them alive for hundreds of years without the slightest attention from anyone or anything else while still dwelling so intimately inside each child of God? It blows my mind. I do not understand love. That's ok, though. I like it.
Let me back up and explain. I am currently using his computer while he uses mine in another room. I'm not sure why, it just happened that way. I started scrolling through the pictures on his computer. He has some on here from 2003! I found an album titled "Mom." It contains pictures of her from her time with them as children until her last days in this world. Most of them are pictures of just her. Some are with her husband or daughter. Then there are some with her son. As I flipped, I started crying. He loved her so much. I know sons love their moms, but he loved her. There's a particular picture that grabbed me. It's nothing really special. She's laughing and Josh is in the background laughing as well, but he's looking straight at her. To me, it just seems like they had fun together. Like she was such an understanding and sweet spirit. She wasn't worried about digging too deep into her children's lives. She adored them and they adored her.
I kept flipping (and crying). The more I saw into the life of my husband, the more I understood what he felt for his family. I've known that he is a loyal friend. He would do anything for those he loves, but I never realized how deeply he allowed himself to love people. When he cares, he will care full-force and forever. I see it in the pictures with his sister and his dad, too. He loves to love.
The best part about all this is that I'm part of it too. He loves me. Not only that, but he loves me more than he loved his mom, more than he loves his dad, and more than he loves his sister. He loves me so much that he committed himself to me for the rest of our lives. This small, but huge, realization knocks me off my feet. My husband loves to love me.
And while I am on this train of thought, I need to add another aspect. My husband loves me more than I can understand and I love him more than he can understand. If that's true, I can't even begin to think about what Jesus feels for us. To have Him be the Creator of massive stars and planets and know details about the molecules of other galaxies, to grow trees in the remotest parts of the forest and keep them alive for hundreds of years without the slightest attention from anyone or anything else while still dwelling so intimately inside each child of God? It blows my mind. I do not understand love. That's ok, though. I like it.
Monday, August 2, 2010
life of the unemployed
I woke up this morning to an alarming question. What am I going to do today? Typically, this is not such a hard question, but since Josh worked all last night, I am bound to a silent work day. I could continue to paint the desperate baseboards, but I spent all last week painting the bathroom red. I need a few more days to recooperate. I could clean, but I just did a ceiling to floor sweep on Saturday. Our blue room is practically done being decorated and our kitchen has no room for decoration, so what's a girl to do?
While I am mulling over the possibilities, I hear a large animal in the garage let out a pathetic whine. Ah, Kaiser. The faithful dog whose very existence depends on me. Normally, he would be inside with me following me from room to room, but his clanky nails on our hard floor wake up my light-sleeper husband. Therefore, he is confined to the garage until 4 when the sleeping man emerges from his den. I feel bad for the poor thing. All he wants is some lovin.
Then, here is my thought: I have no deadlines or homework. I have no appointments or staff meetings. On this particular sunny day of my life, I am free to do whatever I want. And since it is a sunny day, I will take my favorite dog to the river. It has been our bonding place since we got him last summer. I'm not scared to take him to the somewhat sketchy place alone, because most people will not approach a doberman. In fact, I've had many people jump off the path or run in the other direction at the sight of him. Little do they know, he doesn't know how to bite. So, without wasting more time that could be spent at the river with my big puppy, I am off.
So long blog-readers. Until next time!
While I am mulling over the possibilities, I hear a large animal in the garage let out a pathetic whine. Ah, Kaiser. The faithful dog whose very existence depends on me. Normally, he would be inside with me following me from room to room, but his clanky nails on our hard floor wake up my light-sleeper husband. Therefore, he is confined to the garage until 4 when the sleeping man emerges from his den. I feel bad for the poor thing. All he wants is some lovin.
Then, here is my thought: I have no deadlines or homework. I have no appointments or staff meetings. On this particular sunny day of my life, I am free to do whatever I want. And since it is a sunny day, I will take my favorite dog to the river. It has been our bonding place since we got him last summer. I'm not scared to take him to the somewhat sketchy place alone, because most people will not approach a doberman. In fact, I've had many people jump off the path or run in the other direction at the sight of him. Little do they know, he doesn't know how to bite. So, without wasting more time that could be spent at the river with my big puppy, I am off.
So long blog-readers. Until next time!
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