Trust

It’s a hard thing.  I’d venture to say that the majority of the people in this world struggle with it to some degree.  Rightfully so.  This world teaches us that trust is earned not granted.  If you betray my confidence in your authenticity, I will retract my trust until you prove yourself to me once again.  Isn’t this what we’re taught?

So why is it so hard to trust God who has never failed us at any point or betrayed us in any way?  To trust the fact that He is who He says He is, He will do what He says He will do, and His plan and purpose for me in this time and space is precisely en pointe for the rest of humanity and eternity.  I can remember so many circumstances in my life that seemed impossible to overcome.  Ok, God, sorry!  I can’t do what you asked of me and I can’t trust you fully to provide because this, this, and this need to happen before I can do this, this, and this.  And yet, at those seemingly impossible moments, he squashed my excuses and provided exactly what I needed.  Sometimes I just imagine God shaking his head at me saying, “How do you still not know what I’m capable of?”

He just brought me through this lesson this summer…once again.  Ok, God, I’m moving to a new place where I know no one.  I’m scared, I’m insecure, and I don’t know how You’re going to pull this one off.  And yet, He did.  He told me 2 things repeatedly (and, go figure, I was still slow to catch on): 1. I will take care of every detail and 2. Be still.

Be still.  Be.  Still.  Aren’t those two separate things?  To be means that I’m actively and purposefully living, breathing, doing.  Still means that I’m not.  Unless what He’s really saying is “Actively and purposefully trust in my ability to bring into fruition everything that I have already intended.”  Eek!  I don’t like these words because it means that I must willingly relinquish control (like I had it in the first place) and jump on this train without knowing where it’s going and when.

I think it’s so frightening, because I often dismiss the second part of this.  Psalm 46:10  “Be still and know that I am God…”  To know something is to have confidence in a proven fact.  Or, put another way, it is trustworthy because the results have been tested.  So, I am actively and purposefully relinquishing my control and trusting that God will do exactly what He has intended to do.

It’s easier to claim this and accept it when we’re not really faced with a major crisis.  Why is it so much harder to “be still and know” when our marriages are struggling or when we’ve lost our jobs or when we’ve lost family members or when we’re called to transplant our lives to the opposite side of the country or world?  Hasn’t God already proven that He is so abundantly capable?

I don’t want to just know/trust that God is going to provide for my needs.  I also want to know/trust that however He chooses to do it is far superior to how I expect Him to provide.  AND, I am not required to do anything in order for this to happen.  I don’t have to pray 5 times a day, I don’t have to conquer a nation or donate $100 in order to receive provisions.  I have to BE STILL and KNOW.  The more I see God provide in my life and in the lives of my friends and family, the more I am convinced that He is totally trustworthy.  He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do.  Because of this, I am able to be still and know that He is God.

Such honest worship!  I’m in love with this song right now.