Finally married

Josh and I have been together for 5 years and married for 3.  It hasn’t really felt like we’ve been married (at least not all the time) until just recently, though. 

First date, y’all.  Nothing like being picked up in your dorm room!

We got married in May 2010- 2 weeks before my college graduation and 1 week before his med school graduation.  So, most of the together time we spent previous to marriage was study time.  When we got married, we really only had about a month to adjust to living together before he started residency.  Once residency started, it seemed kinda like we were single again.  There were a few weeks during this 3 year process where the only time Josh and I saw each other was when I was pulling out of the neighborhood as he was driving in.  I remember one month where this was pretty much our daily routine.  No fun!

It got easier as residency progressed, because he didn’t have to work as many crazy hours.  Still, it’s funny to me to think that “normal” to me means that hopefully we’ll eat dinner together at least once a week and sleep in the same bed at least 4 times a week.  When I imagined married life when I was younger, I thought that we would be eating dinner together every night, going to bed together, and the only time apart would be sneaking away for a weekend trip with friends.  Nope!  Not so much.

USC Baseball…one of few days we had off together!

To be honest, it was hard to swallow this reality at first.  I wanted to be able to spend my evenings with my husband and go on walks with our dog.  I wanted to be able to walk in the next room to ask him a question rather than text or email him, because I knew he was too busy working to talk.  As these years crept by, this became normal.  I had to realize that my marriage is not going to look like other marriages that I know.  Dinners together are more like dates, because they are so few and far between.  So, I got used to my marriage being that way.

Now, Josh is finished with residency and working on his own.  Since we’ve moved, it’s been strange to me.  We can eat dinner together every night?!  And I do believe that last night was the first night we spent apart in 2 months!  This is weird…or, I guess, normal. 

On top of this, we are in close quarters.  I mentioned before that we had the privilege of living in his dad’s house for 3 years.  That meant that we were able to have our own bathrooms, our own closets, plenty of room to move around, etc.  He preferred the living room, I preferred the sun room.  Not a problem, but this meant that we saw even less of each other, because we had so much space.  It’s fun, because we’ve never had to share things before.  I like it.  I like that we brush our teeth together at night now.  I like having to dance around each other to get something out of the fridge.  I finally feel like we’re married! 

Exploring Dallas together! 

I think this is going to be a good year.  I’m not sure that we will always have this extra time together, but while it lasts, I intend to make the most of it.  It’s times like this that I realize how blessed I am to be married to a man like mine.  I’m grateful to experience this thing called LIFE with him.

New digs

I’m semi high-maintenance.  I really try not to be, but if I’m being completely honest, it’s true.  I don’t enjoy camping or “roughing it” (does that even sound fun to anyone?), but I will if it means that I get to hang out with people I love.  So, the thought of living in an RV was not appealing to me.  My poor husband…

We looked at several on Craigslist, Camping World, and other various websites we could find.  Most of them were fine, but I thought “I’m going to be cooking in that, living in it and hopefully having people over.”  I didn’t want to feel grungy every time I stepped foot in the place.  If we were using this as a vacation vehicle, SURE!  Who cares?!  But living in the thing is a different story.  Hence, I asked my hubby for a few more amenities than we were originally thinking.

We found our RV at a place called Karolina Koaches.  They buy repossessed RVs at an auction, fix up the major issues, and sell them for thousands less than they’re actually worth.  It really is a great deal!  So, we decided on this one.  It’s a 2005 Alfa.  What a great find it was, because it had everything we were looking for in an RV (diesel engine, low miles, plenty of space, an oven, and a washer/dryer combo)!

It actually hasn’t been bad to live in.  Occasionally it feels cramped when the dog is doing circles and I’m trying to walk back and forth getting stuff done, but overall, it’s been great.  The only problem we have now is a broken water heater (not that we’ll need hot water in Texas, but it might come in handy in Colorado).  So, cyber friends,  feel special, because here is your very own tour of our new home (starting from front to back)!

The view as you walk in.  The whole right side of the room slides in to where the tile is when we drive.

This couch pulls out to be a double bed.  The couch on the other side is a full pull-out couch, so come visit!  Also, please note that my mom is amazing, because she helped me clean this whole place AND she helped me make pillows!  She pretty much rocks!

Behind that couch is extra storage (this place has tons of room). 

Our kitchen!  It was hard to find an RV with everything that I wanted in a kitchen within our price range (i.e. an oven, a larger-than-mini fridge, a microwave).  The kitchen looks small, but people, I was able to bring practically everything from my kitchen at home!  Made complete with dog bowls and pillow :)

Self-explanatory, but I love that the table extends!

This baby is so cool!  (It’s the little things in life.)  I really wanted a washer/dryer in the RV because I didn’t know if all the parks we’d stay at would have a place to do laundry.  This is neat, because it washes and dries in ONE MACHINE!  Why don’t we do that anyway?  It’s awesome!  It’s small, so we have to do laundry twice as often, but it’s still pretty cool to have one of these!  (Why is it that this is the most exciting part of the RV for me?!)

Again, self explanatory.  Just trying to give you a thorough tour :)

Behind door #1 is the shower!  And behind door #2….

The throne room!  It was weird getting used to this toilet.  The seat is shaped differently than regular seats and the flusher is a pedal on the bottom.  Think airplane bathroom.  There’s one button to fill it with water and another button to flush.  Whatevs.  It works.  No complaints.

Looking into the bedroom.  I couldn’t really get a great shot of the whole place, but there’s more room than it looks.  To the left, we have a closet that spans the whole wall up to the bathroom sink.  Also, there are drawers along the bottom of the wall for more storage space.

I know you’ve basically already seen this, but I just wanted to point out this curtain (mainly because it took about 2.5 days to finish).  The only con about this place is that it didn’t have a door/wall between the bathroom and the bedroom (there is one between the kitchen and bathroom, though).  That wouldn’t be a problem except when Josh works nights and sleeps during the day, I didn’t want to wake him up every time I had to pee.  I tried some black-out curtains, but they weren’t tall or wide enough.  My awesome, talented, artistic friend, Sarah (click here to see her blog- she rocks) came up with a great solution.  We took a large drop cloth from Lowes, made our own stamps with foam board and went to town!  It was so fun and easy…just took awhile.  Then, again, enter my awesome mom who sewed the whole thing together for me.  It’s not completely sound proof (duh), but light can’t get through, which is a major plus!

So, there you have it!  My new home with my awesome man!  We really have been so blessed to find something like this.  It makes me appreciate the small things in life a little more.

Getting going

It has been a looonnnngggggg process getting out here to Texas.  I’m smart enough to know that moving hardly ever goes smoothly and still naive enough to expect it to go smoothly.  Maybe one day I’ll learn.

Feel free to skip on by this post if you have not a care about our hiccups, but I’m writing this purely so that I can look back in a year and laugh at how funny the situation actually was (still not to the point of laughing, yet).

Josh’s dad came for his graduation around mid-June.  It was so great to be able to see him and spend time with him, and I know it meant a lot to Josh to have his dad make that trip for his- not 2nd, not 3rd, but 4th major graduation.  He lives in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, which makes this appearance extra meaningful.  Anyhoo, while he was visiting, we threw around the idea of renting out the house while we are gone for a year.  (Sidenote: Josh and I have been living in his dad’s house for 3 years while he has been living in Ethiopia).  We decided to go the renting route and in a mad rush tried to pack up the whole house to prepare for future renters.  This is not a small house, mind you.  And, it was not just newlywed’s belongings.  Packing up Ben’s things, Josh’s things, and Josh’s mom’s things was no small feat.  We purged the house of “stuff” that had accumulated for 30+ years and donated about 10 carloads to Goodwill.  If we didn’t satisfy the thrifting community, I don’t know what will!  It turns out that Josh’s dad will be returning to the U.S. in August to stay for a few months, so packing was somewhat unnecessary afterall.  It was really nice to go through everything to give ourselves a fresh start when we get back, though.

In the midst of packing, we had several RV mishaps that set us back from truly breaking this baby in until just recently.  We bought it back in March, but the AC wasn’t quite working (definitely glad to have it fixed now!), Josh may or may not have had a tiny accident turning it around one day, and other miscellaneous repairs kept it in the shop.  Everything was fine until the Monday before we were planning on moving.

1.) The hot water heater in the RV stopped working.

2.) My car decided not to start.

3.) The reservations we had made for an RV park were lost and they didn’t have any available space for us.

4.) We still had not found a home for Kaiser, our dog.

In and of itself, any of these things would be totally manageable.  Trying to finish everything we needed to finish, see all of our friends and family, and prepare to move our lives out of Columbia COMBINED with these four things did not make for a very fun Monday.  Monday, no fun-day.  Sigh….

We took the RV to Camping World (note to any future or current RVers: they are about the same price as other businesses and they have been great/efficient every time we needed them) and found out that it would take about a week to fix.  Not ideal, but what could we do?  We would have also taken my car to the mechanic’s, but we didn’t have a way to get it there, because we our tow dolley wouldn’t be ready until Thursday.  So, down a car and RV.  We are so stinkin’ spoiled in America that families usually have 2+ cars.  Thank goodness for extra vehicles!

The last blow came that afternoon when Josh called the RV park we were planning on staying at just to confirm that we didn’t need to do anything else before we got there.  He had called in February to make reservations, they called us back in April to confirm our spot and we confirmed.  Done.  Sign, sealed, delivered.  SIKE!  When he called that day, the lady on the other line said, “Uh, we don’t have you down and we don’t have any available spots until October.”  Not a happy thing to hear after a day of frustration.  Basically, it came down to the fact that there wasn’t anything we could do about it and had to find a new place.  It wouldn’t have been as big of a deal except that that RV park was 5 minutes away from Josh’s work whereas the next closest one was 30 minutes away.  On top of that, we needed to find one with good reviews (i.e. not a place where “my mama got shot” or “people offered me drugs every time I stepped outside”<---real reviews, you can’t make this stuff up!).  After calling about 15 different places, we found Bluebonnet Ridge.  Granted, we’ve only been here a day, but now I am so grateful that the other park didn’t work out.  The only downside is that it’s about 30 minutes away from the hospital where Josh will be working and about 45 minutes away from downtown Dallas.  Again, it’s not an ideal location, but it’s a great park!

After a long week of repairs and phone calls, we got the car, RV, and reservations squared away.  The only thing left was Kaiser.  I would love to take him on this adventure with us all year, but it just seems cruel to keep a big dog locked up in an RV when he’s used to having a yard.  We were frantically looking for a temporary or permanent family to take him.  There were a few trials, but no takers.  We had no choice but to bring him along (We’re still looking for a good home, so if you or anyone you know is interested, please let me know!). 

With that, last Thursday, we loaded the last little bit into the RV and headed West to meet some cowboys. 

Now mind you, an RV is not an easy thing to drive.  Josh and I both have a new respect for truck drivers. (Please people, be nice to those poor souls, because it is a pain trying to switch lanes, accelerate, park, etc.)  Josh led the way in the RV.  I was behind him in his SUV pulling my little Camry while Kaiser drooled in the backseat.  It kinda felt like we were traveling with the circus at times, but we made it across 5 states to Texas. 

 

our little caravan

We stopped Thursday and Friday night in Birmingham to visit some old friends (btw, Birmingham is a really neat city if any of you have an itch to go to Alabama), then hit the road early on Saturday.  Supposedly it’s only about 14 hours from Columbia to Dallas. 

Maybe it is in with a normal car ride, but it took us about 18 hours total.  So glad we weren’t feeling ambitious and try to do it all in a day. 

We got to the park around 6:30 that night, quickly hooked everything up, walked the poor patient dog, and went to find some Tex-Mex!  It was such a relief to be finished with that leg of the journey.  Now we’re here in Terrell, TX where the grass is crunchy and the cows are plenty.  I wake up every morning and almost feel like I have to pinch myself to remember that I’m actually here in a different state seeing new things everyday. 

we have quite the view…and sunsets! 

We’re still trying to get the hang of this whole RV thing and learning our way around, but I just wanted to share something that has been so dear to me throughout this whole process.  In the midst of my apprehension and worry about where to live, what to do, who to meet, etc, etc, the Lord very calmly laid this verse on my heart: “He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.  ‘Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’  The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress” (Psalm 46:9-11).

Like I’ve said before, this is way out of my comfort zone.  I don’t even know how to explore a new city, where to go to meet new friends, or what to do in my spare time.  All of my fears and doubts are answered with that one phrase.  This experience has affirmed more than ever that my God is intimate, He’s intentional, and He’s purposeful.  I haven’t the slightest idea what the rest of my day is going to look like or what kind of job I could get, but I know that the Lord is good and He provides for every one of my needs (even if I don’t know what they are). 

So, world, I confess that I am still scared about this journey and am still quite uncomfortable with the unknown, but I more boldly confess that my God is good no matter where I go or what I do.  When He says, “Be still,” how can I argue?  I won’t.  My life is His, which means I will go where He leads me and gladly rejoice in His goodness and unfailing love, because life with Him is always an adventure!

Just the beginning

Whew!  It feels strange to sit here in Terrell, TX writing about this adventure that we’ve been planning on since October!  Never in a million years did I imagine that I’d be living in an RV and moving to different cities every few months.  But, alas, here I am with my little family doing just that. 

I’ll back up for all of you new-comers (welcome!).  My husband just finished his last year of residency in Emergency Medicine.  So, we began looking for possible places to move.  Before we got married and before he started residency, we made an agreement.  We would stay in Columbia, SC for 3 years (the duration of his program) and then we would move anywhere in the US after that.  Columbia was obviously for me since he is an MK (missionary kid) and is used to picking up every few years and starting over.  At the time, I figured we’d find a nice city and settle for a few years until we decided to start a family.  After looking at several job options, Josh discovered locum tenens.  Basically, the company we’re with has a list of hospitals that need extra ER help, we choose where we want to go from that list and stay for however long or short we want!  This is right up his alley!  So, instead of renting apartments and trying to get a one-month lease here or a 3-month lease there, we bought an RV and decided to just move our home with us.  Less hassle in the long run because we don’t have to pack everything up every time we leave an area.

So, our first stop on this year-long excursion is DALLAS, TEXAS!  We couldn’t get an RV spot closer to the city (that’s a story for a different day), so we are staying about 45 minutes outside in a little town called Terrell.  We haven’t really explored it yet, because we just got in last night, but I’m sure we’ll venture out today.

Our plan right now (which is as firm as sand) is to stay in Dallas for 3 months then head on to Colorado or Utah (skiing months, ya know?).  After that, we’re thinking we might try out a few different places in Cali to see what we can discover. 

This is really just a chance for us to travel around and enjoy our time while we don’t have any other obligations (i.e. babies).  I wasn’t too excited about this idea at first.  Stability is my friend.  But, now I’m so happy to be here and see what this year is going to hold for us.

I’ll write another post soon giving you a grand tour of our new home and explaining what it’s like to travel to TX with 3 vehicles, 2 people, and 1 dog.  And since I’m having technical difficulties, I’ll post pictures next time.  But, now, I believe I hear Dallas beckoning me to come explore!

Kinda Sorta

I’m ready to write now.  I haven’t been, because I know that the purpose of this blog for now is to keep me busy as I am on the road for a year.  And honestly, being on the road for a year SCARE ME SO MUCH, so I choose to ignore all things related!  I know it’s an awesome opportunity that most people will not ever get to experience, but it’s not an experience that I particularly welcomed.

It’s been a draining past few weeks.  We packed up our entire house (purged the house of “stuff” that has accumulated for years), donated about 10 carloads to Goodwill (you’re welcome, thrifters), and started packing up the RV (which still needs a name).  That’s exhausting for someone who has only moved from one side of town to the other.  Hence, the idea of being away from “home” where all of my family and best friends live for an entire year has been so freakin’ scarey.  Clearly I lack a sense of adventure, but I’m working on it.

My house is quiet right now, which is kinda perfect.  My dog has gone to stay with his new family (TEMPORARY family, twas in the agreement between puppy and me), Josh is working the night shift, and the clock that ticks has been put into storage.  Silence- exactly what I need. 

One of my dear friends came over earlier for dinner and as she left, she handed me a card.  She’s incredibly wise and insightful so I would love to just copy and paste her entire card onto here, but that seems impersonal.  Instead, I shall share with you just a few of her pearls of wisdom, because they came at just the right silent moment.

“I don’t think there is a ‘life highway,’ where bathroom breaks and detours are deviations from your intended path.  I don’t think you follow life, but that life ‘follows’ you…Could it be that these next 365 days, God has known about from before you were born?  I think so.  I no longer view this as a ‘detour” or hiatus from your life.  This time was planned!”

Whew.  I have truly amazing friends.  While I’m not completely ready to leave and find out what waits for the Skaggs tribe over this next year, I’m getting there.  The Lord has slowly but faithfully been changing my heart.  I know that He is intentional and purposeful.  Initially, this trip did feel like a detour to me.  Selfishly, I felt like I was having to put my life on hold while my husband got to go on an adventure (totally ignoring the fact that he sacrifices for me all the time!).  I am starting to realize now that “no, Courtney, you’re life is going in a different direction, but it’s not a detour.”  What do we do with different directions?  We keep going until the road ends.

I like this no detour business.  Like I said, the Lord is intentional and purposeful.  He doesn’t need detours.  So.  While I’m not totally ready to hit to road, I’m more excited, because THANK GOODNESS I’m not alone in this thing called life.  Annndddd, THANK GOODNESS my God’s ways are greater than my own (because I’d probably be living in the same house in the same town 100 years from now- not that there’s anything wrong with that).