Heaven

I want Jesus.  Really badly.  Not only do I want him, but I need him desperately.  I’ve been thinking about heaven a lot lately.  I’m sure it’s going to be so much more grand and glorious than I actually picture in my mind, but whenever I think about it, I get giddy.  That’s never happened before. 

When I was little, I used to think it must be boring living in a pure white city where mysterious fog seems to constantly hover over the ground.  I just pictured everyone walking somberly along, and when that certain part of the day came, every somber and serious saint and angel would recite their praise to a God who was just as somber and serious. 

As I got older, I tried less to imagine what my life would be like there and more of how I would even be able to make it into that white, white place.  I had this view that the Paul’s and Peter’s of this world were welcomed in gladly and that God smiled as they came in.  When it came time for “regular” people to walk through those pearly gates, though, God waved us through annoyed, casting judgmental looks our way like we only made it by the skin of our teeth and if it wasn’t for his infinite mercy, we would be kicked out of paradise to the place where no one wishes to go.

Thankfully, the Lord has been changing my view of himself and heaven.  Honestly, who wants to serve a boring or critical God?  He has pursued me tirelessly this year and has loved me with a depth I didn’t realize he had (the God I used to know only loved out of obligation) and didn’t realize I was capable of experiencing.

Who is my God?  He is a King- a mighty King.  He is my Savior- one who refused to let me slip through the cracks.  He is faithful, loving, compassionate, merciful, gracious, just, strong, wise, powerful, glorious, and holy.  He is everything I need and more.  It’s easy to spit out those words as one raised to know those things about God.  But, I’m able to know now just what it means to proclaim who He is.  I have lived through those times when he is faithful or just or glorious.  I have felt his love for me and for others in ways I just could not imagine before. 

And because he is those things and so much more, I need him because I am not.  This is why I want Jesus and need him so badly.  I need him to love me well, to pursue me well, to change me and make me whole.  I need him to have a constant place in my life, because without him, I don’t know what my God is capable of.  He goes back to being a judgmental King who sits on his white throne day and night.  AND MY GOD IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! 

So, the more I learn about the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, the more I see how praiseworthy my God actually is!  I heard something the other day about Old Testament prophecies and how a particular passage pointed to Christ’s second coming.  Just the very thought of seeing Jesus- there are no words!  My body actually aches sometimes when I think about it.  I yearn to see him and be with him so badly that everything else I care about pales in comparison.

Alright, getting back to heaven.  I don’t know what it’s going to look like or be like (besides what the Bible says about it).  But I know this: my God is not boring.  Maybe, just maybe, God likes to have fun?  Maybe he also enjoys beauty?  Maybe he would rather love than judge?  It’s been hard to retrain my mind to think of my God as anything but critical and judgmental, because that’s how I viewed him for so long.  But once we’re home, we’re home!  We are in a place where there won’t be tears.  I personally believe that we might not even remember what pain (emotional or physical) feels like or what it was like to experience it on earth.    When I picture it now, it’s not stark white with weird fog.  It has colors I have never seen before and music I have never heard before.  And people are constantly laughing and clapping and praising a King who has a love that is too pure not to be praised.  And there He is.  My glorious King and his Son- the Conqueror.  These beautiful beings who look at me and smile so gently because they delight in me (Zephaniah 3:17).

This is the kind of heaven I want to live in for eternity.  This is the God I want to serve here and in heaven.  So, while God is not finished with me on earth, I am so excited for the day when he is.  I will get to meet amazing people (I’m actually really excited to meet Abednego and his buddies, martyrs, and Josh’s mom) and see amazing things.  Most importantly, I will be completely whole and restored.  But most, most importantly, I will gladly sing “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!”  Because HE is!

RV life

I’ve been asked this question a lot, so I figured I’d satisfy your curiosity if you haven’t yet asked.  What’s it like living in an RV?  Whelp, honestly, it’s not bad.  There are a few things that I’ve had to get used to, but as a whole, RV life isn’t too shabby.

It’s definitely more cramped than we’re used to, but it’s totally livable with just 2 people.  Other than the down-sizing, there’s some little adjustments here and there.  For example, our water supply comes from a faucet outside.  Hence, our water pressure is pretty weak, which makes taking a shower a little more difficult.  I have resorted to skipping the conditioner and just wearing my hair up most days.  Also, we have 50 amps of power for this whole place.  That means that if I’m going to do laundry in our cute little washer, I have to make sure all the extra lights and fans are shut off otherwise we’d trip the circuit.  Having 50 amp power means that it takes a little extra for the place to cool down.  Texas doesn’t have many big, beautiful trees to park under, so our poor house bakes in the sun all day whilst trying to keep the inside cool.  It does a pretty good job, though.   I just have to remember to do the laundry at night when it cools down and try to cook as fast as possible before the entire place turns into a furnace.

Other than that, it’s been a fun little place to live.  I half expected to feel trapped and pace back and forth like a lost puppy.  None of it.  This really is all the space we need at the moment.

So there you have it.  Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting a more adventurous lifestyle.  In reality, it’s pretty peaceful and cozy.  We might just stay awhile longer like this.  :)

Body parts

I think I may get in trouble for this post, but I’m writing it anyway because this has been a huge burden on my heart for several months. 

I grew up in church, I have had a Christian education, and I have been constantly surrounded by Believers my whole life.  I am by no means an expert, but I am in a position to know a good bit about the Bible and Christianity (and I am I thoroughly grateful for that).  However, in the middle of all this spirituality and religion, I have yet to hear a pastor or teacher talk about the importance of spiritual gifts and practicing them regularly inside and outside the Church.

It wasn’t until early this year that a dear friend of mine opened my eyes to a whole different way of life.  You mean miracles and healing and speaking in tongues doesn’t just happen in foreign countries?!  I didn’t take her for her word at first, because let’s be honest, we have all seen and heard about people abusing these so-called gifts and wreaking havoc on our reputations.  I always kind of pushed those people aside into a category labeled “crazy.”  She was so patient and gracious with me, though.  The more I studied Scripture, the more I couldn’t help but see those words jumping off the page at me.

I will try to do this as systematically and concisely as possible (Please know that there are so many more passages to explore than these, but these are the main ones that I keep coming back to):

-John 14:12 “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.”

-Acts 1:8  “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth”

-Romans 8:11 “The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you…”

So here we see that we have access to an indescribable power, because the Holy Spirit lives within each and every Believer.  Whether or not we believe that we have such a powerful Being within us at all times, it’s the truth!  The Counselor is always with us to encourage us, teach us, convict us, protect us, etc.  He is a constant source here on earth until Christ returns.  Because of that, His power and authority (because He is separate and equal to the Father and Son) are accessible.  Notice, I am not saying we are powerful or we have authority.  No.  It is only through the work of the Spirit and the name of Jesus- which is above every name- that we are able to function with any means outside of our physical/natural capabilities.

I strongly encourage you to read I Corinthians 12 through I Corinthians 14 (I’m not about to type it all out here…).  Paul is making a huge case for spiritual gifts and their functioning within the Church.  He does not say anything about a select few using them or that you have to be part of an exclusive group to have them.  His letter is timeless and universal.  All Believers have spiritual gifts and all should use them to contribute to the Body. 

“These gifts are not optional.  The people of the Church have missed God in the past by deciding for themselves whether or not they would accept them.  The gifts of the Spirit are not placed at the disposal of the Church on a take-it-or-leave-it proposition.  We either take them or lose what we have.”  (The Gifts and Ministries of the Holy Spirit by Lester Sumrall).

This leads me to my last point: WHAT IF THE CHURCH FUNCTIONED THE WAY CHRIST INTENDED?  I’m not necessarily talking about a perfectly peaceful congregation and that every guest gets a hospitable handshake when they walk in the door (although, those would be great as well).  I’m talking about What if the mouths spoke?  What if the legs walked?  What if the arms lifted?  What if the neck turned?  In other words, what if those who have the gift to speak and pray in tongues did so regularly alongside the help of an interpreter?  What if those who had the gift of healing gave the blind back their sight?  What if those who have the gift of miracles fed an entire starving village?  What if those who have the gift of prophesy daily comforted, exhorted, or encouraged fellow Christians?  How about those with the gift of faith, wisdom, and knowledge?  What if they stepped up and challenged the Church to be stronger and more mature?  What if we distinguished spirits- clean and unclean- and used the name of Jesus to bind or loosen?  WHAT IF THE CHURCH FUNCTIONED THE WAY CHRIST INTENDED?

In addition, what if we confessed our sins to one another daily?  Or sought out single mothers, widows, or orphans to bless?  Or prayed intently and purposefully for each other, our ministries, and the Harvest?  What if we actually spent more time reflecting Christ than we did worrying about what color the carpet is going to be or what brand of coffee to buy for Sunday mornings?  What if we tithed regularly with faith and thanksgiving?  What if we loved the people who hated us?  What if we thought less about ourselves and our own lives and spent more time and energy thinking of the Body and how every brother and sister is intertwined by the blessing of eternal life?

I know I can’t be alone in this!  It is my desire to see the Church truly act like the Church- not perfect, but striving for it.  It’s my guess that we would have a much stronger and stable reputation, more loving members, and more passionate people.  When a person is healthy, it’s easy to see.  If the Church functioned like it was meant to function, the world would notice.  Paul said to use words if necessary, so maybe we can get attention with pure action.  Jesus’ ministry comprised of all the gifts (minus tongues) as well as the apostles as they started their ministry after his death.  It wasn’t just preaching, it wasn’t just service.  It was a multitude of gifts and community and disciplines (prayer, meditation, fasting, etc.) that allowed Christianity to spread over continents and centuries.

I have been the good, quiet Christian my entire life.  I’m kind of done with sitting back in the corner not really contributing to the Kingdom and damaging the enemy.  The Lord did not give me eternal life to start living once I get to heaven.  It’s for me to start living now.  To use my gifts now so that the Christ can be glorified, the Church can be edified, and the lost can be reconciled.  I’m just one part of a finger, though.  We need more fingers and a hand and a wrist and an arm and a shoulder, etc. 

I’m not sure there is an excuse for us in the 21st century to be ignorant of this or to be ignorant of what our gifts could be.  We have too many resources for us to be naive about it.  Maybe it’s apathy?  I’m not sure and I’m not one to judge.  All I know is that the first generation of the Church didn’t miss much in their lives because they were afraid or apathetic.  They lived well and left a legacy and a guide for us today.  I want to be part of a generation that functions as a Body- a unified and glorious Body.