Josh and I have been together for 5 years and married for 3. It hasn’t really felt like we’ve been married (at least not all the time) until just recently, though.
We got married in May 2010- 2 weeks before my college graduation and 1 week before his med school graduation. So, most of the together time we spent previous to marriage was study time. When we got married, we really only had about a month to adjust to living together before he started residency. Once residency started, it seemed kinda like we were single again. There were a few weeks during this 3 year process where the only time Josh and I saw each other was when I was pulling out of the neighborhood as he was driving in. I remember one month where this was pretty much our daily routine. No fun!
It got easier as residency progressed, because he didn’t have to work as many crazy hours. Still, it’s funny to me to think that “normal” to me means that hopefully we’ll eat dinner together at least once a week and sleep in the same bed at least 4 times a week. When I imagined married life when I was younger, I thought that we would be eating dinner together every night, going to bed together, and the only time apart would be sneaking away for a weekend trip with friends. Nope! Not so much.
To be honest, it was hard to swallow this reality at first. I wanted to be able to spend my evenings with my husband and go on walks with our dog. I wanted to be able to walk in the next room to ask him a question rather than text or email him, because I knew he was too busy working to talk. As these years crept by, this became normal. I had to realize that my marriage is not going to look like other marriages that I know. Dinners together are more like dates, because they are so few and far between. So, I got used to my marriage being that way.
Now, Josh is finished with residency and working on his own. Since we’ve moved, it’s been strange to me. We can eat dinner together every night?! And I do believe that last night was the first night we spent apart in 2 months! This is weird…or, I guess, normal.
On top of this, we are in close quarters. I mentioned before that we had the privilege of living in his dad’s house for 3 years. That meant that we were able to have our own bathrooms, our own closets, plenty of room to move around, etc. He preferred the living room, I preferred the sun room. Not a problem, but this meant that we saw even less of each other, because we had so much space. It’s fun, because we’ve never had to share things before. I like it. I like that we brush our teeth together at night now. I like having to dance around each other to get something out of the fridge. I finally feel like we’re married!
I think this is going to be a good year. I’m not sure that we will always have this extra time together, but while it lasts, I intend to make the most of it. It’s times like this that I realize how blessed I am to be married to a man like mine. I’m grateful to experience this thing called LIFE with him.
awwww i remember that first picture!!!!
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