This thing called love

And here it is again.  February 14th.  I like Valentine’s Day even though Josh and I aren’t big on celebrating it.  I mean, anytime there’s an abundance of chocolate floating around, I like it.  I’m a little perplexed by the concept this year, though.  I get that Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, but I get caught up on that L-word.

I’ve been thinking over the past few weeks and trying to figure out what people mean by love.  You hear people say, “I believe in love” or “Love is all you need.”  What is it though?  My impression (and I hope I’m wrong) is that people throw out this word like it has all the power in existence.  And yet, it seems like people determine if they love or don’t love something based on how their emotions decipher it.  This is why I’m confused.

If it’s powerful enough to be all that we need or substantial enough to be where faith is placed, why would our emotions get the final say?  I know what I believe love is, and thanks to the Bible, pretty much everyone knows this beautiful passage:

Love is patient, love it kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails…And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.  I Corinthians 13:4-13

Faith, hope, and love, though we treat them as nouns, are actually verbs.  You have to actively have faith, you have to actively have hope, and you have to actively love.  It’s not passive and it doesn’t just happen.  You don’t fall in love, you work to be in love.  The minute we stop fighting our distractions and working towards being selfless, kind, and patient towards our spouse or children or friends is the minute we stop being loving (if that passage is a true definition of love..and I think it is).

Here’s the kicker: I’m not sure that humans are physically, emotionally, or spiritually capable of this kind of love without help.  I certainly have not demonstrated this kind of love to the people around me at all times, and I would call you a liar if you said you have.  We are naturally impatient, naturally selfish, naturally prideful.  We’re fallible- simple as that.  When we put our faith and hope into something that we as humans cannot do well, then we automatically identify ourselves as unstable.  Love- this thing we know well, but don’t understand at all- is not enough.  (Gosh, I sound so cynical…but I’m not!)

I know there are people reading this who believe what I believe and some who don’t.  But since it’s my blog, I get to write what I want :)  I believe that in order to love well, we have to have another source influencing us, teaching us, and correcting us.  A source that is not dependent on my opinion of it, but functions in a constant manner in spite of how I view it.  A source that knows what love is supposed to look like and that demonstrates it perfectly at all times regardless of what humans do.  And that source is the Lord.  He is love, he does love, and he has love.  It is a constant outpouring of himself on us in spite of our waywardness and brokenness.  Love never fails because God never fails.

So when I hear people say, “I believe in love” or “Love is all you need,” I get a twinge of sadness, because they just don’t know how shaky their lives really are if that’s what they believe.  God is, was, and will be.  He is unchanging, he is a fortress, and he is powerful.  I don’t think love is all you need.  I think God is all you need and then you will understand that love, hope, faith, joy, kindness, and goodness follow that.  It’s not perfect on our side, because we are still fallible creatures, but it’s solid.  It cannot be moved or influenced by my emotions. 

People will forever search for fulfillment, because we know we are empty.  Human love does not satisfy- it will always fall short.  But Hallelujah!  My God rescues and pursues and abides!  That, my friends, is love.  So, thanks for the chocolate (it will be consumed) and thanks for the flowers (they will be enjoyed) but you can keep the kind of love you’re celebrating.  I would rather delight in the Lord whom I love and who loves me than delight in the idea of love.